In the midst of life’s experiences, growth, and healing, I discovered that rejection and change is not a negative experience but can be a positive one.
I spent most of my twenties stuck in a cycle of fearing rejection and resisting change. I came to understand that much of this stemmed from my upbringing. I carried the belief that if I experienced rejection, whether in relationships, friendships, careers, or opportunities—there must be something I am doing wrong. Along with that belief came a need to control situations and outcomes in an attempt to avoid being hurt.
Rejection comes in many forms—dating, marriage, friendships, careers, and countless other situations. If you are anything like I once was, you may sit in that disappointment and become your own harshest critic, replaying every scenario in your mind. You wonder what you could have done differently or how someone else could have shown up better. But that constant mental replay steals your joy, keeps you stuck in the past, and ultimately stunts your growth.
An epiphany came over me sometime around September of 2025, and it has since become a cornerstone of how I view rejection and life's unexpected changes. It took multiple heartbreaks and many difficult lessons for this realization to truly sink in:it is not rejection—it is redirection. Instead of allowing my experiences to pull me into bitterness or keeping me trapped in a victim mindset, I chose to learn from them and share it with others. The pain, disappointment, and rejection/change I have encountered became the very things that shaped me into someone more resilient, compassionate, and self-aware.
Looking back, I can see that many of the things I once mourned were actually guiding me toward something better. Relationships that ended taught me what genuine connection looks like. Opportunities that didn't work out led me to paths I never would have imagined. Friendships that faded taught me the true qualities of a good friend. What felt like rejection in the moment was often redirection toward something more aligned with who I was becoming.
My perspective has shifted from, “Why is this happening to me?” to, “What is this teaching me?” and “What is this making room for?” That shift has brought me more peace than I ever thought possible. It doesn't eliminate the hurt—we still have to grieve, process, and heal—but it offers hope. In moments of disappointment, we can also find excitement for what lies ahead. If you're currently experiencing rejection or a change in life that feels negative, consider this: you’re not being pushed away from something meant for you. Instead, you are on your way toward something that is. Endings create space for new beginnings. And what a gift it is to have the opportunity to grow, start again, and discover something even better than you imagined.
- Destiny
